Cheaters

People are so ridiculous. If you don't want to be with someone anymore, tell them! Deal with it! Breakup, divorce, move out, whatever you need to do to end it with one person before beginning something with another! I have a co-worker that I thought I knew morally pretty well. Man was I wrong! Talk about truths coming out! One co-worker who is in a tumultuous relationship with his now estranged wife pending divorce was let go. The crazy wife is now calling work and pointing fingers at some girls that work there as reasons for the divorce. Those of us in the know, totally thought it was BS. No way. Not these girls....man were we wrong. The truth slowly emerged today as "friends" of those concerned began to throw them under the bus secret by secret. One in particular swore up and down it was totally crap. I always viewed her as sweet and quiet until today. No more. She is a very good actress. A fellow co-worker in the know lives near this girl and saw the guy's truck parked around the corner from her place. Wow. So the crazy ex is right. There was and still is an affair in full force. Good thing the divorce papers are in the mail for all those concerned. I'm still a tad shocked at how much crap unfolded. That guy worked with us for 2 years and evidently had numerous indiscretions going on around the work place. Wow. It was well played on the down low.
People that are cowards and choose to cheat to get out of relationships make me sick. I will never be able to look at that girl in particular ever again the same way. Since I have been the victim of a very nasty cheating situation I cannot find it in me to not look at her differently. It will be quite a challenge to rock the fa sad, but somehow, I will have to tap into some acting skills of my own to work with her.

The Help and Roses

I read The Help by Kathryne Stockett not too long ago and LOVED IT. If you haven't discovered this southern gem, you must read it. It is a historical fiction set in Jackson, MS during the 1960s told by several characters, three black maids and one white woman from a local rich family. The white woman meets in secret to interview the maids about life and working for their white employers. The stories mix humor, love, loss, tragedy, and disbelief at the various treatments and experiences. It took the author over 20 years to perfect and publish it based on real interviews and her personal life growing up in MS in those times.

Roses by Leila Meacham, is a Texas Gone With The Wind. A divine 600 page saga interweaving three families across several generations in a small town. The actions of the original town founders affect all of those around them and those that come after them for several generations until one has enough courage to set things right and lift a curse plaguing the land and it's owners. Starting with the founding in the late 1800s, it ends in the mid 1980s. Heart wrenching tragedy upon tragedy is soothed by miracles and everlasting love between several characters. The book is told in parts by three of the biggest characters. It is by far one of the best books I have ever read, even better than The Help.

Next, I plan to read Wench by Dolen Perkins-Valdez. Another historical fiction spanning several decades with multiple main characters telling their own stories. The stories are told by female slaves taken away from the South each summer by their masters/lovers to a resort in Ohio built specifically to accommodate these unusual relationships. Ohio is at the time a Free State. Each of the women make their own decision whether to run away for their freedom, or stay with the white men/owners for their families and/or forbidden love. It should be another heart breaker.

Court TV?! LOL

Wow. Court TV has changed a lot. I normally never watch them because they are so boring, but this new woman on tv has total nut jobs on her show. Both sides of the fence are certifiable. LOL One girl admits to being charged with falsifying a bank robbery report, stealing eyeglass frames, stealing sneakers, gambling at a church, and claims to have a brain tumor that she takes zanax for. WTF? Her cousin who is suing her for not repaying cash loans and claims the defendant is a compulsive liar. Um.. I believe the plaintiff. LOL Now another case is on where this defendant is drunk in court and admits to being a crackhead. LOL Completely insane. I guess court tv is just another "reality tv machine". A bunch of "personalities" and nuts looking for their 15 minutes.

Need a Vaca!

I'm ready for a vacation. I'm overdue for one. Mmm.... warm sun, salty breeze, crashing waves...sign me up! I want to get out of BFE!

My mom is bugging me about visiting. Ugh. I hate going up there. One minute it's boring and the next it's stressful. I hate that place. I feel sorta bad for not visiting, but she could just as easily come down here. It's less than 5 hours drive! It's a two-way street last time I checked. I don't consider going there a vacation by any means. Not one bit.

Fail

I am not feeling like myself. I'm letting fears and stress build up inside of me instead of talking about it. I don't know why. I don't if I am scared more of upsetting the other person if they don't understand my side or if I try too hard to make everything perfect and happy. Maybe I'm being selfish and not feeling like I'm getting much attention or feedback when I need to talk. Maybe I talk too much as it is so I eventually get tuned out. I don't know. I wish I had all the answers...

Lost in Thought

I went to work today and finally made some solid progress on my latest "major project". I was already confident in the success of it, but now I'm really sure it will run smooth. The staff this morning didn't need tons of "babysitting" like some do so that made it much easier.
When I got home, I immediately went to the gym. I went yesterday and finally kick started my gym routine again. I'm really proud of myself. It's been too long since I stayed on a routine. I'm trying to find a good weight sculpting DVD to use at home. I love jogging on the treadmill or hoping on the elliptical machine. It lets me clear my head and relax. My goal is to get back in shape before my trip to CA in a few months. I have to get back in that bikini shape. It's ORANGE COUNTY! I have to hold my own against those beach bunnies.

Nervous...Decisions

I'm really nervous. I'm trying to plan my move away from here. Presently, CA is on the radar, but I'm terrified to get out all the way to the west coast and discover I either cannot afford to live decently on my salary or I end up homesick for my native eastern coast. I guess if I was truly honest with myself, I still really, really want to go home...to Charleston. I have a massive list of pros and cons, but no matter what happens in my life, I always look back to that city. I am taking a trip soon out to CA. I guess I'll see what my heart says when I get there. Maybe I'll fall in love. I've only been to CA once before in my life and it was to San Jose. I didn't get to really see much since it was a wedding. I'm excited to see CA. I'm really hoping to lay eyes on LA since I'll be in the OC area. I'm also planning a trip to Charleston a few months afterward. Maybe a visit after a 7 year hiatus will open my eyes and heart to see what will truly make me happy. Bottom line, I want to make a decision that will finally keep me happy and not put myself in another forced situation that may cause resentment or sadness again.